Being yourself is easy when you’re around friends and family. But for many sales leaders, the moment they dial into a forecast meeting, that authenticity can disappear—and in its place comes pressure, expectations, and the looming presence of numbers.
I’ll never forget what that felt like in one of my former leadership roles.
I was leading a strong-performing sales team that I deeply believed in. We were delivering real results in a challenging market, yet each week’s meeting focused on one thing: CRM activity and reported metrics. If the action wasn’t logged in the “CRM”—it didn’t count. Deals won, relationships built, creative workarounds? Yeah, those weren’t what mattered.
The atmosphere was pretty much like a chair in the middle of the room with a bright light. (OK I am exaggerating a bit) Conversations became interrogations. Instead of seeing wins, leadership saw gaps in reporting. Instead of discussing strategy, it felt like we were defending our activity.
I’ve always believed that great sales leaders don’t just manage—they coach. But in this environment, I felt more like an accountant than a mentor.
The Cracks in the Culture
It all came to a head during a particularly tough season.
A team leader I deeply respected went through a significant personal tragedy. Naturally, the priorities shifted. The team was rallying around them. Clients were understanding. We were still holding the line, even during grief.
But when I mentioned the situation during a forecast meeting with the executives, after showing a brief moment of “empathy”, the response I received was:
“Any thoughts as to how you are going to still hit your number?”
No pause. No real empathy. I am sure everyone in the room would have wanted to say something like “Take care of your people and do what you can.” That just didn’t happen, though.
It was a wake-up call: in that moment, performance mattered more than people. And that didn’t sit right with me.
As Simon Sinek explains in Leaders Eat Last, truly effective leaders create an environment where people feel safe and supported, especially during hard times. That wasn’t happening here. It was spreadsheet-first; people-last.
What That Conversation Could Have Sounded Like
Instead of pressure and performance talk, imagine this alternative:
“Harry, you have an amazing team. They’re doing an incredible job bringing in revenue in an extremely competitive market—and doing it with outstanding profitability. Hats off to you.”
“We’ve noticed CRM usage is still pretty low, which makes forecasting tough. But we get it—CRMs aren’t always designed with salespeople in mind. Before we throw process changes at your team, let’s talk: what ideas do you have? How can we help you tighten up the data without slowing anyone down?”
Same message, different tone.
It aligns with what Stephen M.R. Covey teaches in The Speed of Trust: when trust is present, things move faster, with less friction. Instead of blame or resistance, you get engagement and solutions.
A conversation like that builds partnership, not pressure. That’s leadership rooted in trust.
Why Psychological Safety Still Matters
You may have heard the term thrown around in HR circles, but psychological safety is far from “soft” thinking. In The Fearless Organization, Harvard professor Amy Edmondson outlines how it directly affects performance. When team members feel safe to speak up, challenge ideas, and admit mistakes without fear, they perform better, plain and simple.
Fear and compliance may create short-term output, but trust and safety deliver long-term consistency and creativity.
And here’s the kicker: salespeople are high-performance human beings. They thrive on autonomy, connection, and meaning. Daniel H. Pink, in his book Drive, emphasizes that what motivates people isn’t control, it’s purpose, mastery, and autonomy. Forcing CRM input without making it people-centric burns out your best talent.
What Metrics Don’t Measure
When leaders only talk numbers, they ignore qualitative wins:
- The way a rep calmed a panicked client.
- The storytelling in a proposal that turned the tide.
- The human grit it takes to pick up the phone after rejection.
Those don’t show up in dashboards—but they’re what build lasting client partnerships.
When people feel seen only as data points, they eventually disengage. That’s how you lose great talent. As business strategist Simon Sinek reminds us, people will give their all when they know they are cared for, not managed to death.
You Don’t Have to Choose Between Results and Respect
The belief that sales must be aggressive, numbers-first, and accountability-heavy is a myth. You can build high-performance sales cultures that are also kind, thoughtful, and purposeful.
I’ve lived it. My teams performed at elite levels, and we did it with transparency, openness, and mutual respect.
Trust doesn’t come after results. Trust is what creates consistent results.
This Is Selling With Dignity
Ultimately, that culture I walked away from helped me see why my values mattered more.
That’s why I launched Selling With Dignity—and why I now help company leaders build sales environments where people are empowered to be their best selves, not their most anxious performers.
You can build a culture that respects the human behind the number.
You can coach without micromanaging.
You can lead with trust.
It all starts with how you frame the conversation. Trust is the key.
Harry Spaight is a sales leadership coach and author of Selling With Dignity. He equips organizations to develop sales leaders who inspire and empower high-performing teams.